Bad Day

I’m having a bad day. Simple enough statement, but the thoughts that go with it send me into a questioning mood where I begin to ponder the meaning of my life and the origin of my feelings and the truth is – there is never an answer to those questions. 

The baby has been screaming all day because she hates to sleep and then gets so tired that she just will not be happy, no matter what.  I just get so tired of not having a moment to myself.  These are the days where without a doubt I feel like I can’t possibly have any more kids.  I hate feeling that frustrated because the minute she calms down or smiles I feel guilty for letting my frustration get that high and because people in the world have SERIOUS problems and my only problem is my baby won’t sleep during the day.  It seems so miniscule, especially when I think about how much I love her and how grateful I am for her – so I just feel miserable and then guilty and then miserable and then guilty and on and on all day long.  Is this just the plight of motherhood and I just need to accept it and move on or is it me and my constant issues with trying to be the perfect mother?  Why don’t people really get together and talk about parenthood and their feelings more often?  I really think hearing that other people feel the same way and have the exact same thoughts and frustrations would be incredibly comforting.

I’m not trying to invite anyone to my pity party or seek any sort of attention, I just felt like I needed to get some blog therapy today because the fact of the matter is – I’m just having a bad day.

Tomorrow will be better.